Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
