i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
