Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize