If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
did you just send me my own nude
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