brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
