I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
what day is it and did you see me today?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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