also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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