i barfeds in our rink
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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