is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
