thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
