Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize