someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Its about making memories worth repressing
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
