it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
