I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
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