All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
