I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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