saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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