New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
