wrigley field is MILF paradise
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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