Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
