I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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