Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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