Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
