I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
