my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
