Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I said "one day" and that day is not today
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
