Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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