Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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