Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
