They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
