She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
