My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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