wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
