Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
