But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
