Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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