I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
