well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
