This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
