I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am one with the molecules
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize