Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
