yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
