Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
