In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
