I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
