"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
