we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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