The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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