Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
