I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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