I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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