Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
