a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
