doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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