Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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