Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
