hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
