Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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