dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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