i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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