Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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